I Am Unwritten
If you’re looking at the time stamp for this post…yes, I was up that early writing. I only had about 45 minutes of sleep. Lots on my mind tonight, or should I say today now. Paige and I have had a rough go of it lately.
I’m sure you’ve heard the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. If not the lyrics are here. To me, this seems to be the journey that Paige and I are on. Uncertain, unplanned, 2 girls trying to write a future for ourselves.
Family, friends, jobs, ex’s, tough decisions…all these thing tend to weigh heavily, especially when you try to close your eyes…ugh.
Life will try to kick you in the teeth if you let it. So, after about an hour, through the tears and pain, I came up with my short list of things that make me happy right now. Random thoughts, actually…this seems to be the way I deal lately.
1. I’m awaiting the Crapapples to bloom. The world never smells so good.
2. Listening to the Doves coo outside my windows.
3. Crack of the bat when the ball hits it. It’s almost baseball season y’all!
4. Paige talking about her mom. To me there’s a sweetness about it that lingers long after:)
5. When someone favorites our Etsy shop. Baby steps, but gratifying.
6. The way Daisy licks her lips when I’m making her dinner & when Paige’s Kitty rubs against me because I miss mine so.
7. Telling “baby” stories about when Russell was little. Some are totally inappropriate.
8. Paige’s story about how she, accidentally, gave a bunny fermented fruit and he basically passed out drunk. Don’t worry he hopped away later:) Paige don’t hate me for telling that…k. It just cracks me up every time I think of it!
9. That 70’s Show. I’m still addicted to it. And frankly, I don’t think I would have made it through my divorce without the laughter this show provided me.
10. My brother telling me he loves me every time I talk to him or text him. I don’t know why, but I always do a double take on that one. Its kinda funny that you torture each other for so long as kids but still love each other:)
11. Friends, Friends, Friends. I can’t image a day going by that I don’t talk to a friend.
Think of any random things that make you smile right now? I wanna hear it.
Ok…it’s 4:30…you think I can sneak in an hours worth of sleep before I have to get up?
SewMod
8 comments
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March 24, 2011 at 6:54 am
mimi'sdarlins
I hope you find comfort today, Lorrie. I think we’ve all had the sleepless nights for various reasons…please take comfort in knowing that others care and keep you in their thoughts and prayers. Without typing my own unending ‘random thoughts’ list….I’m sure I could go on and on…my favorite one these days is how my day brightens when my little granddaughters come through the door…I hear their chatter outside, then their footsteps and finally see those ‘always happy’ little faces…and I know I am blessed :-)
March 24, 2011 at 8:35 am
Kelly
Oh, Lorrie, I’m so sorry you and Paige are having a rough time. It took me two years after my divorce before I finally realized I felt like ‘me’ again. I know it hurts. Sometimes it seems like the world is hell bent on knocking you down every time you try to pick yourself up, but keep trying…I promise you’ll find your way.
Go for walks, EVERYDAY, no matter how you feel. Walk by yourself, if you can. Force yourself to notice all the life going on around you. It always amazed me how dead I felt inside, but yet the squirrels were still playing chase, the flowers were still blooming, the birds were still chirping, and the kids were still laughing, running and playing.
I promise it will all get better, but it will take alot of time and alot of healing.
Hugs,
Kelly
March 24, 2011 at 9:40 am
theworkingcaregiver
Great post, my friend! I’m sorry you are having a difficult time right now but I truly understand about all of life’s mishaps and ups and downs. It’s great to be reminded about the little things in life, such as great friends, that help get us through. So glad to have you as one of my BFF’s :)
March 24, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Lorrie
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement everyone!
March 25, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Vicki
Your post made me tear up.
I’m also grateful for the friends, especially my SewMod friends. I certainly wouldn’t have made it through this last year with out you fabulous ladies either. It’s been a sucky year for you two, and several others in our group, but we’ll all get through it together, because that’s what girlfriends are for.
This too shall pass, and things will get better. You just have to believe that.
March 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm
lala
OK, i just bawled! I know you are having a rough time and i so wished i could be there for you! You are such a strong woman!! you have always been. look what you are doing with your life right now. You just knew what you wanted and you are going for it. You have so much going in the RIGHT direction for you. Here is what i love
I love the smell of flowers
I love to hear my boys laugh
I love a good workout with sweat
I love when things remind me of the good old days on Carolyn Drive
I love laughing at work with friends and having to run to the bathroom to pee
and I love that your my friend!!!!!!!
OK, I’m crying again…… and I love that too!
Angela
March 25, 2011 at 9:20 pm
PaigeAlaine
Well, dear friend, I’m so glad we crossed paths just over a year ago and are sharing this exciting and challenging journey! We will make it!
You definitely got me thinking about what makes me smile lately – coming home to a a big hello meow from Kitty and Sophie (my lab) howling and snorting at the same time with a ball in her mouth! Seeing the first Robin of the Spring. Walking late at night when the full moon lights my way. Having the most wonderful and caring friends! And sharing every moment I can with my mom, dad and sister Wendy! Oh, and always when I think of the bunny incident! :)
March 26, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Janet
Lorrie, You are such a strong person! You and Paige are on a journey together that will help you acheive all of your goals. You have always wanted to do this with your life and you are now going for it!! I wish I had some of your drive. Please know that I am always there for you!! Call anytime!! You have made me think of what makes me happy!! Please take care and know that I love you!!